What have I learned?

1. Breastfeeding was hard. REALLY hard. I realise that breastfeeding is not difficult for everyone, but it was super hard for me. Little man didn't open his mouth wide when latching on. I had horrible technique (still probably do, but little man is an expert now). My nipples were damaged. I had to take little man off the breast to heal. I cried A LOT. Pumping was hard. At one stage I was pumping every two hours (no one told me I didn't have to pump overnight at that interval). Mastitis sucked, but I healed. I'm glad I persevered. I love seeing little man smile on the boob and make cute little sighing noises. I hope I can make it to 1 year.

2. My family is generous. I have known this for a long time, but they are. My immediate family and my extended family are generous. I miss them terribly.

3. Troy is amazing. I have known this for a while now too, but it's nice to be reminded. From being so supportive during the labour, to ferrying my parents when they visited when he just got his license a few months before, to changing nappies (some dads don't change nappies?), to cooking amazing Korean dinners, to always offering cuddles even when I'm being a monster. He is the BEST MAN for me and the BEST FATHER for our little one. 

4. Some advice is best left floating in the air. Not all advice is helpful. It's okay to sift through, pick and choose what to utilise. 

5. We sure do make a cute baby. I'm so glad he's more Troy than me in temperament. He is so happy, but loves our attention (I love getting attention from Troy too!). Although we make a cute baby, I'm thinking our family of three is complete (not ruling out furry family members in future though).

I am...

I am...
       ... a mother
       ... a wife
       ... a daughter
       ... a friend
       ... a registered nurse
       ... imperfect
       ... emotional
       ... always learning
       ... improving (I hope)

I'm finding it hard to successfully merge all these roles in my life. I love being a mother. It is challenging, beautiful, emotional, fulfilling. I am so happy that our family of two (because two makes a family too!) became a family of three. I wonder where my job will fit into motherhood. I don't want to leave my baby with strangers and as we have no family locally I'm really struggling with this idea. I love being there to comfort baby boy. It breaks my heart and yet makes me laugh when I see that bottom lip jut out into a pout, have it go back to normal for a second, jut out again, preceding his heartbreaking cry. He tries so hard to be happy even when he's upset. I love you. Mummy loves you.